It's not only coaches but parents and players as well.
I described an ugly parent in an earlier blog. There are ugly coaches as well. And ugly players. All seem to put a lot of emphasis on winning not how the game is played. "Losing is not an option!" taking a quote from The Breakfast Club and Emilo Estaves. I have lots of stories on those.
The Bad ones may bend the rules a bit for their own benefit. Ignore the rule in PeeWee baseball where there is only one base on a overthrow or if the ump says you're out, you're good, stay on base. Can we switch kids on the roster because this kid is too slow? Still too much emphasis on winning but not as bad. I'll just re-read the rules to them again this year. They'll listen. Maybe.
The Good. These are the ones I love. All the kids want to be on their team. All the parents want their kids to be on their team. I guess we wouldn't have too many teams if I let that happen. That's why we have a draft. That may sound silly but in some cases where we don't have a draft, like in soccer, there's always that one who says I stacked a team. We play "pick a card, any card" when I have Matthew and Clayton, possibly Curtis, each take a turn pulling a form out and going in order, making up the rosters. I have witnesses. (One dad would open his wallet up and ask how much would it take to have so-and-so on his team? Really! What an ass.) That would be a big no-no for baseball. I would probably be chased down and burned at the stake.
There was a player that was pitching and the batter was a smaller boy who would likely strike out. The pitcher knowing this eased up on the strength of his pitches. He didn't lob them over the plate but also he didn't put his all behind it. He gave the smaller boy a chance. Gotta love it. (Gotta love this kid. When he was in second grade, I was on my way to drag a field. He was playing on the next one to drag with some older boys, one being his brother. As I was driving by I heard the ball come off the bat. It sailed over the outfield fence. I heard this pitcher-to-be yell, " G****** it, Tyler! How many f*****g times do I have to tell you not to hit the ball so hard!" I yelled at him for talking that way but held back the giggles until I was out of earshot. The tears were streaming down my face. I was so shocked that a little kid would say those things but it was funny that a little kid DID say those things. He is a sweetheart. He hangs around here helping out. Gotta and do love him.)
Then there's that other kind. This pitcher sees a smaller boy and knowing he'll be swinging in the breeze so he'll throw it as hard as possible to make sure he strikes out. That's what the coach wants, that's what the coach gets. That rubs off to the players. Well, we're kicking the crud out of them, let's make sure they don't get up.
I was working the concession stand at the ball fields by the gardens. This was in 2009. I witnessed something that truly made me well up. This team was winning. The coaches' son came up to bat. The son cracked one out, it cleared the infield of a prep diamond and I was amazed at the strength of this little third grader. Coach gave a yell and a signal. I watched the son stop at second. Okay. The next time the son came up to bat, same thing, cracked it out to center, but he stopped on first. After the game we talked. I mentioned if he knew why his dad stopped him on second then first. Of course he did! Silly me. Just because they were winning didn't mean they had to kill them.
This coach has taken kids, worked with them using encouragement instead of yelling and calling them names. One hit a grand slam in the playoffs. He wasn't their best player, hitter or runner but with a little one-on-one, he was able to hold his own. The cheering was deafening. He received the game ball for that night. I do believe the kid is still smiling.
This coach wants to come back and coach the younger boys when his are in high school. He said they are the most fun to coach. He's a big kid himself and I will let him. He knows what he's doing and the kids love him.
I called this gal some years ago asking if she, and/or her husband, would be interested in coaching their sons' team in soccer. I was short coaches and even though they didn't know much about soccer or basketball or flag football or baseball but when I continually call them, they always say they'll do it. These are the other ones I love. Even though they might not know all there is to know about a sport, they will still coach. They will work with someone else's child, starting from scratch, making time for them, holding practices, teaching, correcting, having a water balloon fight/picnic after the last game. All the wins and losses are forgotten and giggling is in its' place.
There are others but these are the best. Winning is not the main thing we learn but how to play, sportsmanship and treating others with respect.
And everyone plays.
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