The pool. I hate it.

Not at the beginning of the season but as the summer plays on, I grow to hate the pool.

Right now I'm hoping I have enough lifeguards for the season.  If the strays will take their recertification class, I might be okay.  Some will have softball, baseball, dance camp, football camp, cheerleading camp and Travel Team Soccer throughout the summer.  There's always family vacations too.  There's rivers to float, movies to see, friends to visit.  That's nice.

But I don't care.  If you signed up or I put you down to work, you best be there.  If you can't find a replacement, you best be there.  If you just decide not to show up, you're gone.  I don't have time for that.  I have a stack of applications of kids wanting to work concessions/front desk who would be more than happy to take your place.

You think working at the pool will be easy, fun, nothing but water and sun.  Better retink it.  You have to clean counters, the appliances, clean ketchup spills, take out the garbage, wash dishes, wait on bossy kids and exasperated parents.  There's coolers to stock, lost and found to sort, glass doors with full suntan-lotioned body prints to wash, holes to fill in the sand play area.  The kids like to dig to China.  We have a shovel with your name on it. You'll have people complain about the prices or the fact we just ran out of ice cream sandwiches.  You'll complain about the other workers who don't do all the work on the list even though we do have a list to follow.  There's floors to scrub, trash to pick up beyond the "No food or drink allowed beyond this point" signs, money to count and you better be able to add and subtract. 

Lifeguards have different duties.  They have lives in their hands.  It is very stressful to sit on the chairs watching constantly.  You deserve the raises. The one thing that really annoys me though; when you're sitting on the bench, FACE the pool, you're still watching kids.  Yes, even on your 15 minute break.  They still run and climb on the top of the frog slide. You can check the messages on your cell phone or call mom to bring you lunch but there are lives at stake here.  If you think I'm a bitch, big surprise, I don't care.

They start off strong but then decide it is a job and they really do have to work.  You will be asked to sign a "Termination of Employment" form since it's a seasonal job.  At the end of the season, you have no job.  You must reapply next year.  You're not guaranteed a job.  You may not know I've been watching you or someone else has.  I've seen you work.

Very few have seen me go ape at the pool.  I try not to with little kids running (WALK!) around.  It's not a pleasant sight.  My filter doesn't work when that happens so I hope you've heard all the dicey words.  You have to understand the higher ups are watching you too.  If you're not doing something correctly, I'm going to hear about it.  Then you certainly will hear about it.

Please, like I've said, leave your bracelet making kits, fingernail polish, make up, Cosmopolitians, colors, markers and coloring books at home.  Don't bring decks of cards.  They will disappear.

I've never watched "Parks and Rec." on television.  It can't be as fun as this.